What Are Attachment Wounds?

​Attachment injuries can stem from disruptions in early emotional bonds, typically with caregivers. This could include:

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• Emotional neglect or inconsistency

• Physical or verbal abuse

• Abandonment or enmeshment

• Growing up in a home without emotional safety

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​Over time, these experiences wire our brains to expect rejection, betrayal, or abandonment. They teach us to protect ourselves, either by clinging too tightly or pushing people away.

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How Attachment Wounds Show Up in Adults:

​You might be dealing with attachment wounds if you notice:

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• You feel anxious or obsessive in relationships

• You avoid intimacy or fear dependence

• You sabotage connections when they feel “too close”

• You struggle with trusting others or feeling worthy of love

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These are not flaws in your character. Instead, they are survival strategies your brain learned along the way to keep you safe. I call this a love affair. The brain's primary function is to keep us safe/alive, and it will do anything to make that happen.

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Healing Starts With Awareness

​​It is impossible to change something that you cannot see. So, your first step is being aware of the patterns in your relationships and understanding where these consistent behaviors come from.

Ask yourself:

• What triggers my emotional reactions in relationships?

• Do I fear abandonment or overly immersed relationships?

• What messages did I internalize about love and trust while growing up?

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You can try journaling, therapy, and self-reflection to help bring this awareness into focus.

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​Healing Attachment Wounds

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​1. Reparent Yourself

​Start giving yourself what you didn’t receive from your caregiver:

• Speak to yourself with kindness and patience

• Honor your emotions instead of shutting them down

• Set boundaries that make you feel safe

By doing this, you're building a new internal caregiver, one that shows up for you.

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2. Regulate Your Nervous System

​Attachment wounds often activate the fight, flight, or freeze response. Learning to regulate helps you respond rather than react.

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​You can try:

• Deep breathing or grounding exercises

• Somatic therapy or trauma-informed yoga

• Getting enough rest and nourishment

Safety starts in the body.

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3. Challenge Your Core Beliefs

​You may hold unconscious beliefs like:

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• “No one loves me.”

• “People will always leave me. It will happen.”

• “I will get hurt if I am vulnerable.”

Start noticing these thoughts and actively replace them with more truthful ones. You don't have to believe every story your fear tells you.

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4. Build Secure Relationships

​You do not have to go into a bubble to heal. Being around safe, supportive relationships can help you trust again and build healthier ones.

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Look for people who:

• Respect your boundaries

• Communicate with openness and kindness

• Show consistency in your life.

Therapy can be one of those safe relationships, especially if your early ones weren’t.

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5. Give It Time

​Attachment wounds aren’t quick fixes. They often resurface in waves, especially in close relationships. It's not a sign of failure. It’s healing in motion. Stay patient. Progress might look like recognizing your trigger instead of acting on it, or being honest about your needs instead of hiding them.​

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Healing attachment wounds is a courageous, messy, and complex process. It means facing pain, but also reclaiming your power to love and be loved, safely and freely. 

​No matter how your story began, you can write a new chapter. One where you’re no longer surviving love, you’re thriving in it.